


Surreptitiously Sonorous

by kris_king_of_the_losers



Series: Things fall into Place [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/F, F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-26
Updated: 2015-10-26
Packaged: 2018-04-28 05:35:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,221
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5079781
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kris_king_of_the_losers/pseuds/kris_king_of_the_losers
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>On the fateful night of Lily and James’ death, Sirius arrives before Hagrid and is able to raise Harry instead of the Dursley’s. Now armed with a happy childhood, and a healthy mentality, Harry goes off to Hogwarts.</p>
<p>So this was inspired by a huge collection of both personal and tumblr headcanons, and has been brewing in my head for about a year now.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Surreptitiously Sonorous

**Author's Note:**

> For those of you who know me for Ice Bound Hearts, I promise I haven't abandoned it and I will have the next chapter up before i post anything new in this one.

Sirius hadn’t believed the rumors. It couldn’t be true that You-Know-Who was dead. Someone so evil, that only the most powerful wizard after Merlin could inspire fear in him, couldn’t just die. Especially not if his death meant that Lily and James were…were…it just couldn’t be possible! They were only vicious lies spread by desperate people. Peter would never have betrayed them, and that’s the only way You-Know-Who could’ve killed them, after all, not even Dumbledore could break a Fidelius charm.

And yet, Sirius was still frantically flying over to James and Lily’s house on his motorcycle, praying to every god in existence that the rumors were only that. If they were true, if James and Lily were…dead, if it was Harry who had defeated You-Know-Who, well Sirius didn’t know what he would do. It felt as though it took ages for Sirius to reach the house, anxiety eating away at him every second of the ride, and as soon as the house came into view, Sirius knew something was wrong. He had yet to look at the parchment that contained the address, but he could see the house, which meant either the Fidelius charm had been broken, or Wormtail was dead.

“No no no no no no!” he chanted in a frantic plea, urging the bike faster, and dismounting as soon as he reached the ground. The low rumble of the motorcycle had yet to stop when he began racing towards the house, wand at the ready.

The door had been blown clean off the hinges, with nothing more than splinters marking where it had clung to the door frame, and warm light pouring out of the house and into the yard. Sirius felt his heart plummet at the sight, but retained the hope that they had escaped, that he wouldn’t find them dead in the house. He didn’t hesitate at the door, didn’t give himself time to run away from what he might see, instead charging forward, only to nearly collapse at the sight beyond the door.

James lay eagle spread on the floor, his skin incredibly pale despite his usually dark complexion, and his eyes were wide and glassy.

“JAMES!” Sirius cried in despair, dragging himself forwards to his best friend’s side. He felt tears stream down his face, and he shook his head back and forth as though to deny the sight in front of him. Tears blurred his vision, and a choked sob broke out of his chest, as he crouched down next to the man that had been like a brother to him.

“JAMES!” He screamed, tears making his voice hoarse, as the pain ripped through him, forcing him to curl into himself.

“Damn you!” he sobbed, not sure if he were talking to James, or You-Know-Who, or the god who had let this happen. Perhaps it was all three, but in the end he really blamed himself. If only he had been the secret keeper, instead of insisting it be Peter. He had been James’ best man for Merlin’s sake, he should’ve been his secret keeper as well.

It was all his fault that the man who had often joked about which of them would go grey first, who had proudly sported the wrinkle that had formed on his forehead as a testament to finally becoming mature, despite being only twenty at the time, would never age another day. His sobs only grew in strength when he remembered James boasting that he would outlive Dumbledore, and look twice as good doing it.

In a fit of desperation, Sirius took his wrist to his mouth and bit down hard, hoping against all hope that the pain would wake him up, that this was all just another nightmare that plagued him. All that happened however, was pain flaring where his teeth caught on his wrist, and the coppery taste of blood when his overly sharp canines pierced the skin.

He reluctantly released his wrist as waves of grief crashed over him, reducing him to screaming an incoherent string of pleas to bring James back, to take him instead, to do anything to make the scene in front of him go away.

It seemed as though an answer arrived, the sound of crying suddenly dragging Sirius out of his sea of grief just long enough for him to register it.

“Harry.” He breathed out past shuddering sobs, recognizing the cries at once. He stilled himself, hardly daring to hope, and waited for it to fade. He couldn’t afford to consider Harry being alive, not if it was nothing but a grief induced hallucination.

And yet, if it was real, if Harry was alive, then it was Sirius’ responsibility to watch over him. He had a responsibility as a Godfather, and there was no way he would let James down, not when James had known there was a real possibility of Sirius having to raise Harry, and had still entrusted Harry to him.

Sirius immediately stood up and began heading upstairs. He couldn’t afford to be afraid of what he would find, and yet he still was. He was afraid of seeing Lily dead, he was afraid of finding Harry injured, and he was afraid of what he would do, if he saw what was left of You-Know-Who. He couldn’t remember being this scared since he had run away from home when he was sixteen and had gone straight to the Potter’s house, expecting to be turned away. James of course hadn’t abandoned him, and when Sirius had later told James how scared he’d been, James had told him that was what made him so brave.

According to James, bravery wasn’t never having fear, but standing strong in spite of it. So Sirius would be brave. He would be brave and protect Harry, even if he only knew the bare minimum of childrearing.

From the top of the stairs, Sirius could see that Harry's room was in shambles. The bedroom door, much like the front one, had been blasted off the hinges, and the ceiling was blown almost clean off. He could just imagine Lily running Harry upstairs and barricading herself in the room, forgetting in her panic that she could apparate, and he had to choke back another sob.

Ignoring the guilt that ate at him for letting all this happen, Sirius ventured into the room. The first thing he noticed, was Lily sprawled across the floor. Her shock of vivid red hair, that was just as fiery as her personality had been, immediately drew his eyes to her still form. She was right in front of Harry’s crib, likely having died shielding him from You-Know-Who, and Sirius nearly lost it once more seeing her dead. It hurt just as much, if not more than when he had seen James, because it made everything final. It gave him the realization, that James would never laugh again, and Lily would never threaten him with bodily harm if he even considered pranking her. They would never get to see Harry grow up, never see him off to Hogwarts, and James would never win his bet that Harry would become a star Quidditch player.

It was just all too much. Their lives had just been beginning, but now everything was gone. All it took was one night for someone’s life to be torn apart, and Sirius could feel his tearing at the seams.

It was Harry’s happy laugh that brought Sirius back from the edge, and he blinked, slowly coming back to himself. Harry stood up in his crib, staring at him happily and showing no signs of his earlier tantrum. He bounced eagerly while clutching the bars of his crib, looking at him with bright green eyes that were an exact replica of Lily’s.

What caught his attention however, was the stark white scar that now spanned across his forehead and down his face, stopping just above his lips. It resembled bolts of lightning, standing in sharp contrast against his brown skin, and making him seem otherworldly.

Sirius felt a stab of white hot anger as he realized that was where You-Know-Who’s curse had struck Harry. He whirled around, looking for You-Know-Who, needing to see proof that the man who had murdered James and Lily was dead. The room however, was empty of all traces of You-Know-Who. It was as though he had vanished into thin air, escaping the vulnerability found in death, and robbing Sirius of the satisfaction of seeing him dead.

Shaking at the injustice of it, Sirius resisted the urge to curse. He couldn’t have Harry picking it up after all, especially not since he was currently in the phase where he repeated everything in an effort of learning how to talk.

Shoving down his anger since it had no suitable outlet, Sirius turned back to face Harry, to make sure that apart from the very obvious scar, he was unscathed. Harry simply looked at him with curiosity brimming in his eyes, before uttering a string of vowels and raising his arms in a clear request to be picked up. Sirius couldn’t help but obey, picking Harry up and holding him close to his chest, gaining comfort in the simple act of holding his godson. Harry yawned, before snuggling closer to his chest, and Sirius suddenly remembered that it was far past his bedtime. He needed to get Harry to sleep, but there was no way they could stay there. The Fidelius charm was broken which meant death eaters would swarm upon the house, searching for either Harry or You-Know-Who, or both.

Planting a kiss on Harry’s forehead, Sirius set Harry back in his crib, and began gathering up things he would need to raise his godson. The stuffed fawn James had bought for Harry was the first to go into the bag Sirius conjured, and after that followed clothes. He wasn’t sure what else to take, so he quickly began shoving random toys, and blankets into the bag.

Once it was full, Sirius scooped Harry back out of the crib, much to both their delight, and began heading downstairs. He didn’t want to apparate with Harry unless he had to, since the whole experience was rumoured to be exceptionally uncomfortable to babies. Instead, they would have to take his bike. Sirius felt a pang in his chest as he thought of how Lily would’ve killed him for taking Harry on his motorcycle, screaming and jabbing him repeatedly in the chest with her wand, while her errant magic crackled around her in the air, like electricity. James would’ve been looking back and forth between them, watching Lily with adoration in his eyes, and shooting Sirius a petulant look that would've plainly read ‘You took my son on your motorcycle and not me!?’ The image that his imagination produced was so sharp, that Sirius almost stopped dead in his tracks.

He actually did stop when he was ripped out of his thoughts by the sight of a large figure standing outside of the front door, just beyond the reaches of the light.

Sirius immediately whipped his wand out of the inner pocket of his leather jacket, and pointed it at the intruder, ready to apparate with Harry the second the figure made any sort of movement. He would sooner die than let anyone hurt his godson.

"Sirius?" The silhouette suddenly asked in a deep booming voice. "That you?"

Sirius immediately recognized the voice and dropped his wand in relief. "Hagrid," Sirius greeted warmly. "I was seconds away from blasting you to pieces."

Hagrid stepped forward into the light, coming in through the doorway with a bit of difficulty due to his large stature. What little of his face that wasn't covered by hair was red and splotchy, as though he'd been crying. Sirius had no doubt that his own face looked much the same.

"So it's true then, Lily an' James are dead." Hagrid choked out, tears leaking out of his beetle black eyes as he looked down at James' body.

Sirius looked away and said nothing, not trusting himself to speak without crying as well.

"They were good folks, them. Didn' deserve what happened ter them." Hagrid said after a few moments of silence, allowing Sirius to compose himself.

"Yeah." Sirius agreed thickly, before he was suddenly swept into a hug. It wasn't near as crushing as usual, which meant Hagrid had likely taken into account Harry's presence and held back.

"It'll be okay now, jus' you wait." Hagrid said consolingly as he released Sirius from the hug.

Sirius nodded, not voicing his doubts on the matter. It was best to let Hagrid believe his words had an effect on him, lest he try to dole out another hug.

"What are you doing here?" Sirius asked, unable to let the silence continue. He needed a distraction, so as not to dwell on the painful matter at hand. The grief was too fresh and painful to allow it.

Hagrid shifted guiltily, refusing to meet Sirius' gaze, and immediately making him suspicious.

"I got me orders from Dumbledore ter take lil' Harry ter his aunt an' uncle's." He finally said, licking his lips nervously.

Sirius froze as he registered what Hagrid just said. Dumbledore didn't trust him to raise Harry, and was going to drop him off with his muggle relatives. Sirius had heard plenty about them from Lily, and he couldn't believe Dumbledore would even consider them an option. The Dursley's were avid magic haters, and had cut ties with Lily because she was a witch, despite her attempts to stay in contact with them. There was no way Sirius would allow Harry to grow up in an environment like that, no matter what Dumbledore said.

"I'm afraid you'll have to tell Dumbledore that that's not going to happen." Sirius said coldly, barely keeping his anger in check.

Hagrid looked taken aback by Sirius’ comment, before he shook his head sadly. “He’ll be safe there, Dumbledore set up blood wards ter protect him.” he said softly, sympathy clear in his gaze, as though he expected that argument to sway him.

“Safe? At the Dursley’s? Safe from what exactly, because last time I checked, throwing an orphaned child to his estranged, magic hating relatives, wasn’t safe!” Sirius spat angrily. “I am legally his godfather, and not even Dumbledore is going to stop me from raising him!”

Hagrid was silent for a few moments, before a mischievous glint appeared in his eyes. “Well I suppose since I can’t use magic, there’s nothin’ I could do ter stop ya if ya were ter use magic yourself.” He said gruffly, looking as though he were suppressing a smile.

Sirius immediately felt the anger drain out of him, and nodded as he caught on, before raising his wand and aiming it at Hagrid.

“Stupefy.” He said, knowing that it wouldn’t do anything to Hagrid.

Hagrid however, immediately fell to the ground with a heavy thump, and if not for the smile, Sirius would’ve thought he actually succeeded in knocking him out.

Sirius wasted no time in leaving the house, heading straight for his motorcycle. He threw the bag filled with Harry’s stuff into the side car, before running into a complication. He had no way of safely transporting Harry on his motorcycle. Putting Harry in the sidecar posed too great of a risk without a proper way to fasten him in, and it wasn’t like Harry could safely sit on the back of his bike.

Frowning, Sirius drew the conclusion that he would have to apparate with Harry and leave his bike behind. He liked neither outcome of the situation, as it would take ages to calm Harry down after he apparated, and if he left his motorcycle there was a very small chance of it actually still being there when he came back for it. However, both of those consequences were far better options, than taking his bike, and risking Harry falling off into the sea somewhere.

With a sigh of regret, Sirius retrieved the bag from the sidecar and was just about to apparate to his flat, before an idea struck him. He would feel much better if he knew for sure that his motorcycle wouldn’t fall into the hands of a death eater, or be dismantled and sold for parts by a lucky opportunist, but was instead left to someone who would cherish it.

Making up his mind, Sirius turned back to face the house, where Hagrid was still visible on the ground.

“Hagrid, I need you to take care of the motorcycle for me.” He called out, knowing that Hagrid would refuse it if Sirius flat out gave it to him.

There was no reply from Hagrid, but Sirius could’ve sworn he saw the smile on Hagrid’s face grow wider.

Sirius promptly apparated after that, trusting that Hagrid would take care of it, even if there was the chance he would attempt to use it to smuggle in illegal magical creatures. Sure Sirius would still miss the motorcycle he had built from scratch, but it would be put to much better use with Hagrid, since he now had Harry to think about.

* * *

 

Sirius’ flat was in no way equipped to handle a baby. Sirius had been made painfully aware of that when Harry nearly knocked over his record player for the third time and had somehow managed to get a hold of his wand.

He wondered wryly, as he quickly smothered the flaming curtains, if this was Harry’s revenge on him for apparating. It had taken Sirius over an hour to finally calm Harry down after they’d arrived, but he’d managed to make it through on the assumption that Harry’s crying would tire him out and he would fall asleep. Sirius couldn’t have been more wrong. His godson was an absolute terror, and Sirius couldn’t help but question how Lily and James had passed him off as such a good kid.

Then again, the fact there had been two of them had probably helped.

Sirius finally lost all hope that he would be able to raise his godson himself, when Harry had somehow eluded him for the better part of ten minutes, before appearing with an assortment of kitchen knives clutched tightly to his chest. How Harry had gotten a hold of them, Sirius had no clue, and that was what terrified him.

After he frantically extracted all the knives from Harry's grip, Sirius quickly scooped up his godson and caused a fire to spring into existence in his fireplace with a well placed incendio. He had to get to Remus, and beg him to help raise Harry. Things may not have been the best between the two of them, not since they’d joined the Order, but Sirius knew that Remus would never abandon Harry, no matter the company he’d have to put up with.

So, with the hope that Harry would agree more with flooing than apparating, Sirius threw floo powder into the grate and stepped into the emerald flames.

* * *

 

Remus’ flat was sparsely furnished, and had an unlived in feel to it. If it weren’t for the ice cubes that had yet to melt in the glass of brandy on the counter, Sirius would’ve thought no one had been here in months. It was hard to believe that anyone lived here at all in fact, with many things packed up in boxes as though the flat were being vacated.

“Remus?” Sirius called out searchingly, ignoring the way he wanted to call out ‘Moony’ instead. He couldn’t bring himself to, not after he’d failed Lily and James. He’d as good as handed them over to You-Know-Who himself, so there was no way he deserved to call Remus, Moony.

“Sirius?” a voice slurred in return, before the owner of the flat staggered into sight.

Remus was without a doubt drunk. His brown hair, which contained premature streaks of grey, was tousled in such a way that it was almost unseemly and his brown eyes were bloodshot and unfocused. Fumes of alcohol poured off of him, and the clothes that normally sat straight on his tall, lithe form, were disheveled. Sirius had never seen him so vulnerable.

Figuring that the flat was empty enough that Harry wouldn’t be able to get into trouble, Sirius set him down, before heading over to Remus. He carefully disentangled the bottle of Firewhiskey from his friend’s grasp, wondering just how much alcohol was in Remus’ system, and pulled out his wand.

With a small flick, he cast a silent sobering charm, a trick he had learned from a bartender a few years back. Sirius was intending to guide Remus to the armchair in the corner, when he was suddenly introduced to a vicious right hook, and knocked to the floor.

Stunned by the sudden attack, Sirius rubbed his cheek dazedly, before he was abruptly pulled out of his stupor by furious yelling.

“JAMES AND LILY TRUSTED YOU! THEY TRUSTED YOU AND IN RETURN YOU BETRAYED THEM!” Remus roared, no longer drunk, and sounding murderous. “HOW DARE YOU COME CRAWLING BACK HERE WHEN YOU’RE THE REASON THEY’RE DEAD?!”

Sirius felt a heavy pang of guilt and regret at listening to Remus voice what he already knew. He’d never seen Remus so furious, not even when Sirius had told Snape how to get into the shrieking shack on the night of the full moon. Then again, no one had been hurt that time, but now, now Sirius had caused the deaths of the people he’d sworn to protect, so Remus’ anger was not out of place. However, he had to correct Remus.He may be the reason his best friends were dead, but he wasn’t the one who’d betrayed them.

“It wasn’t me, Remus, I wasn’t the secret keeper.” Sirius replied quietly to Remus’ outraged question.

Remus stared at him disbelievingly and opened his mouth, but before he could get anything out, Sirius continued explaining.

“It was a bluff. I would let everyone believe I was the secret keeper, so that if I died when they came after me, the information would still lie with only one person. I convinced James and Lily to make Peter their secret keeper in my place, since I was sure no one would go after him.”

Remus looked shocked, standing stock still, before he shook his head, as though to clear it, and offered Sirius his hand.

Sirius took it and allowed Remus to haul him up. As soon as he was on his feet, Remus swept him into a hug, and Sirius accepted it, both physically and the unspoken apology behind it.

It didn't last long however, as a loud crash caused them to jump apart, and Sirius immediately looked around for Harry. He was nowhere to be seen, which meant that his godson had somehow managed to find trouble in an almost empty flat.

“Harry?” He called out trepidatiously, heading straight towards the source of the sound as fast as he could. There was no answer, and Sirius was highly suspicious of that silence. He rounded the counter that guarded the kitchen, and finally caught sight of Harry, who was sitting on the floor and stuffing his face with chocolate.

“Oh Merlin.” Sirius said in horror, before stooping and snatching the chocolate away from Harry. There was no way he was going to convince him to go to sleep now, which meant it was going to be a very long for Sirius. He was a terrible godfather.

He scooped up Harry and turned to face Remus, a speech of how he desperately needed help raising Harry poised on his tongue, when he saw a twisted expression on Remus’ face. It looked to be a mixture of hope, disbelief, and guilt.

“Harry's alive?” He asked breathlessly, staring at Harry as though he expected him to disappear.

Sirius nodded, though with how fixated Remus was on Harry, he doubted he'd been seen.

“Yeah, but there's no way I can raise him on my own. Remus you have to help me, I...I can't let anything happen to Harry. I can't fail Lily and James again.”

Remus looked at him as though he’d been confunded. “Help you raise Harry?” he asked incredulously, as though it were too preposterous to even consider.

“Please, Remus, I’m begging you. I haven’t touched the gold my uncle Alphard left me, so we could use it to buy a proper house somewhere safe, and between the two of us, Harry should grow up just fine.” Sirius said, trying desperately to persuade Remus before he said no.

Remus was silent for a minute, looking as though he were mulling it over, before finally speaking. “I’ve been evicted, so moving in with you would help my housing situation.” He began seriously, but then stopped as a grin stole over his face. “Of course I’ll help you Padfoot.” He said warmly, and Sirius was suddenly reminded of the time before the Order, before they’d discovered a spy was among them.

“I wouldn’t have it any other way, Moony.” Sirius replied, relishing the feel of the old nickname on his lips.

Things weren’t perfect, there had been too much loss for that, but with Harry alive, and Remus by his side, they were looking much better.

**Author's Note:**

> So, I hope this wasn't too out of character and that you all enjoyed it. Updates will likely be sporadic, but thanks for reading and constructive criticism is highly appreciated.


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